Reptiloids are the intelligent remnants of an ancient race. If you watch these five videos, you'll get an understanding of how the Reptiloids came about. They are a second genetic experiment of...
Ancient Aliens From The Great Beyond! (Said in booming, echoey theatrical voice)
The Sumerians and the Annunaki - Part 1:
The Sumerians and the Annunaki - Part 2:
The Sumerians and the Annunaki - Part 3:
The Sumerians and the Annunaki - Part 4:
ANNUNAKI REPTILIANS, "CLASSIFIED":
As you can see, we weren't warned about the Reptiloids by the Classifiers, no way, Jose! They let us get teeth in the hiney with no growling or hissing to be heard. The Reptiloids are subterainean remnants of the Annunaki's earlier genetic experiments before the Annunaki created Humans through genetic engineering. They are subterrainean because that's how they survived the extinction of the dinosaurs after the Annunaki threw a giant rock at the Yucatan 65 million years ago. The Reptiloids were not so amenable to being gold-diggin' worker drones, because they had a nasty habit of eating their bosses every chance they got. We suspect that the smoke thing is the remnant of a failed Annunaki attempt to docilize the Reptiloids before they gave up and started the age on mammals. The Reptiloids were intelligent enough to be scared so shitless by the rock hitting the Yucatan that they barely ever showed their faces above ground, hoping that the Annunaki wouldn't realize any of them survived. That, and the Galactic Death Ray every 26,000 years. They've been through it far more than we have.
Personally, I suspect that the Annunaki raided Mars for its water and atmosphere to hold off the atmospheric depletion of Nibiru. We'll find out if Nibiru swings into close-orbit in a couple of hundred years. Meanwhile, we'd best restore civilization and get some space colonies going, or we might be toasted by alien Birdmen from Nibiru ourselves.
Now, after that explanation, I need to go get my gal Claudi and take a little Tinfoil Shack vacation, hubba-hubba. We need to make some more little Humans to help restore civilization, ya know?
Brad Wonder out!
Monday, January 31, 2011
Sunday, January 30, 2011
Dawn 2013 #Tinfoil2013: A Rash of Pre-2012 Doomsday Predictions - Video
7 Reasons Why the World Will End in 2012:
2012 SIGNS- PLANET NIBIRU'S ARRIVAL:
The world will end in 2012-Proof:
December 21 2012 the END? (Part 1 of 6):
Welcome to 2012:
21 XII 2012:
2012 END OF THE WORLD:
Global Shift in Dimensions 2008-2012 Mass Awakening GoldRing:
The Mayan Calendar - Welcome to Evolution 2012:
Planet X Nibiru: Anunnaki Hybrid:
2012 (Great Rock Theme):
NIBIRU 2012 A.D. The End ?:
As you can see, I could go on and on and on and on and on and...well, you get the picture.
Nope, it was the Galactic Death Ray!
Peace and good Tinfoil to you.
Brad Wonder out.
2012 SIGNS- PLANET NIBIRU'S ARRIVAL:
The world will end in 2012-Proof:
December 21 2012 the END? (Part 1 of 6):
Welcome to 2012:
21 XII 2012:
2012 END OF THE WORLD:
Global Shift in Dimensions 2008-2012 Mass Awakening GoldRing:
The Mayan Calendar - Welcome to Evolution 2012:
Planet X Nibiru: Anunnaki Hybrid:
2012 (Great Rock Theme):
NIBIRU 2012 A.D. The End ?:
As you can see, I could go on and on and on and on and on and...well, you get the picture.
Nope, it was the Galactic Death Ray!
Peace and good Tinfoil to you.
Brad Wonder out.
Saturday, January 29, 2011
Dawn 2013 #Tinfoil2013: Yeah, There Were Geological Issues Leading Up To 2012...
...and there still are. Global climate Change has been wreaking geological havoc on the surface of the Earth, and it's going to take a long time for things to get better, even now that "civilization" is barely spewing any carbon or other greenhouse gasses into the atmosphere. How, you ask, does Global Climate Change impact the geology of Earth's surface? Water weight, my friend. That old scourge of middle-aged waist-lines around the world. It goes like this note I wrote to a friend back in early 2011:
I came up with a theory linking global climate change to increased seismic & volcanic activity in 2005. I call it the Ping-Pong Theory. (I should rename it the Superball Theory.)
Pinch the top & bottom of a rubber ball the size of a ping-pong ball. The sides bulge out.
Release the pinch and the sides pull back in and the top and bottom bulge back out.
Well, think of the quintillions of tons of ice that has been sitting on land masses in the polar regions as pinching fingers on the top and bottom of the Earth. Now the fingers are melting and the resulting fluid is shifting toward the equator.
Not only is all that weight shifting its burden around on Earth's surface, but it's screwing with the rate of planetary rotation at the same time. Since the Earth's solid outer crust is decoupled from its semi-solid nickel-iron core by a viscous fluid called molten magma, that is some serious shit.
I read a couple of days ago that Yellowstone rose by amounts as much as ten inches. Yellowstone is the world's largest super-volcano. Its caldera is 75 miles across. It's estimated that an eruption at Yellowstone would cover the Western 2/3's of the US up to six feet deep in volcanic ash.
Corporatism is bad for everyone's health.
Here's some video of Mount Kirishima in Japan blowing its top in January, 2011:
If you think I'm off my rocker, check out these Wikipedia articles on Isostasy and Post-glacial Isostatic Rebound. They'll set your hair on-end in this context.
This article and Video series on the Yellowstone Super-Volcano is definitely informative of potential events to come: http://geology.com/usgs/yellowstone-volcano/
Part 1:
Part 2:
Part 3:
I think people will need more than tinfoil to work around these issues, but they weren't what nailed us in 2012.
Brad Wonder out.
I came up with a theory linking global climate change to increased seismic & volcanic activity in 2005. I call it the Ping-Pong Theory. (I should rename it the Superball Theory.)
Pinch the top & bottom of a rubber ball the size of a ping-pong ball. The sides bulge out.
Release the pinch and the sides pull back in and the top and bottom bulge back out.
Well, think of the quintillions of tons of ice that has been sitting on land masses in the polar regions as pinching fingers on the top and bottom of the Earth. Now the fingers are melting and the resulting fluid is shifting toward the equator.
Not only is all that weight shifting its burden around on Earth's surface, but it's screwing with the rate of planetary rotation at the same time. Since the Earth's solid outer crust is decoupled from its semi-solid nickel-iron core by a viscous fluid called molten magma, that is some serious shit.
I read a couple of days ago that Yellowstone rose by amounts as much as ten inches. Yellowstone is the world's largest super-volcano. Its caldera is 75 miles across. It's estimated that an eruption at Yellowstone would cover the Western 2/3's of the US up to six feet deep in volcanic ash.
Corporatism is bad for everyone's health.
Here's some video of Mount Kirishima in Japan blowing its top in January, 2011:
If you think I'm off my rocker, check out these Wikipedia articles on Isostasy and Post-glacial Isostatic Rebound. They'll set your hair on-end in this context.
This article and Video series on the Yellowstone Super-Volcano is definitely informative of potential events to come: http://geology.com/usgs/yellowstone-volcano/
Part 1:
Part 2:
Part 3:
I think people will need more than tinfoil to work around these issues, but they weren't what nailed us in 2012.
Brad Wonder out.
Friday, January 28, 2011
Dawn 2013: Searching For Survivors World-Wide...
...is something we're just beginning.
If you happen to be one of the lucky people who've managed to avoid getting cooked by the Galactic Death Ray, pop a comment on this Journal or do a Tweet at #Tinfoil2013 to let us know you made it. We're not looking for your exact location or coming after your supplies. We want to start planning for post-Death Ray reconstruction of global civilization.
We're betting that at least a few customers of this company ( http://www.bomb-shelter.net/index.html ) will have survived in an underground shelter. Also, you may not know that you can go out for short periods under the cover of tinfoil to forage for supplies and such.
Soon also, we're going to compile an online booklet of Tinfoil Tips and Tricks for Death Ray survivors. We'll announce here and on Twitter when we have it out.
We believe there are other shelter-owners that have made it, or cave-dwellers and such. We're hoping to share know-how and moral support around the globe for when we pass out of the Death Ray. Cheyenne Mountain, if you're listening, we wouldn't mind hearing from you, either.
Meanwhile, here's a good look at one of the better shelters that were being built before December 21st, 2012:
Brad Wonder out.
If you happen to be one of the lucky people who've managed to avoid getting cooked by the Galactic Death Ray, pop a comment on this Journal or do a Tweet at #Tinfoil2013 to let us know you made it. We're not looking for your exact location or coming after your supplies. We want to start planning for post-Death Ray reconstruction of global civilization.
We're betting that at least a few customers of this company ( http://www.bomb-shelter.net/index.html ) will have survived in an underground shelter. Also, you may not know that you can go out for short periods under the cover of tinfoil to forage for supplies and such.
Soon also, we're going to compile an online booklet of Tinfoil Tips and Tricks for Death Ray survivors. We'll announce here and on Twitter when we have it out.
We believe there are other shelter-owners that have made it, or cave-dwellers and such. We're hoping to share know-how and moral support around the globe for when we pass out of the Death Ray. Cheyenne Mountain, if you're listening, we wouldn't mind hearing from you, either.
Meanwhile, here's a good look at one of the better shelters that were being built before December 21st, 2012:
Brad Wonder out.
Thursday, January 27, 2011
Dawn 2013: By The Soft Blue Glow Of Tinfoil...
...you get to go out a little at night.
You see, tinfoil that's deflecting the Death Radiation glows slightly blue in the dark. It's pretty, in a way. When you see fifteen people walking single-file under blue-glowing tinfoil umbrellas, it's almost festive. Even cooler, the tinfoil glow gets a green tinge at the edges of the metal, where the deflected radiation interferes with the incoming radiation around the tinfoil. You should see the Tinfoil Shack at night, it looks like a cross between a party-house and a rectangular UFO!
Unfortunately, you can't tell exactly when the Death Ray is coming at you. Due to changes in the Earth's rotational habits, orientation, and position around the Sun, the Milky Way isn't always in the sky at night, so the Death Ray can be hidden around the curvature of the Earth, or even on the other side of it at any given time. Astronomers and really good Astrologers know, though. There are even times when you need to hold the umbrellas sideways to shield yourself.
The one rule is, you'll always know which way to point your umbrella by looking at how it's glowing when you step outside. You can even make it out slightly on a brightly sun-lit day.
So you see, you have to plan your outings by the soft blue glow of tinfoil. I bet they'll write a blues song about it someday.
Speaking of Astrologers and such, here's a blast from the past I recently found; "Is There Life After 2012?" by the California Psychics' Blog: http://blog.californiapsychics.com/blog/2010/06/is-there-life-after-2012.html/
Enjoy the laughs and the tears. Maybe it'll help sustain you until the Galactic Death Ray passes.
Brad Wonder out.
You see, tinfoil that's deflecting the Death Radiation glows slightly blue in the dark. It's pretty, in a way. When you see fifteen people walking single-file under blue-glowing tinfoil umbrellas, it's almost festive. Even cooler, the tinfoil glow gets a green tinge at the edges of the metal, where the deflected radiation interferes with the incoming radiation around the tinfoil. You should see the Tinfoil Shack at night, it looks like a cross between a party-house and a rectangular UFO!
Unfortunately, you can't tell exactly when the Death Ray is coming at you. Due to changes in the Earth's rotational habits, orientation, and position around the Sun, the Milky Way isn't always in the sky at night, so the Death Ray can be hidden around the curvature of the Earth, or even on the other side of it at any given time. Astronomers and really good Astrologers know, though. There are even times when you need to hold the umbrellas sideways to shield yourself.
The one rule is, you'll always know which way to point your umbrella by looking at how it's glowing when you step outside. You can even make it out slightly on a brightly sun-lit day.
So you see, you have to plan your outings by the soft blue glow of tinfoil. I bet they'll write a blues song about it someday.
Speaking of Astrologers and such, here's a blast from the past I recently found; "Is There Life After 2012?" by the California Psychics' Blog: http://blog.californiapsychics.com/blog/2010/06/is-there-life-after-2012.html/
Enjoy the laughs and the tears. Maybe it'll help sustain you until the Galactic Death Ray passes.
Brad Wonder out.
Dawn 2013: Look Out For The Lava Snarks...
...because they have a nasty bite.
Lava snarks are weird, no question. They're kind of like a collie-sized lizard that glows in the dark, an angry, red-orange glow, with black, leathery skin around the edges. Their bite is acidic, so it burns like fire if they bite you. Their body heat is higher than a Human's, too, so they feel hot to the touch.
Lava snarks look for all the world like a lizard made out of glowing red lava when you see them in a dark cave, and their temperament is somewhere at the deep, dark end of snarky. Foul, in other words. Only a Reptiloid could get along with one, because the Snarks can't bite through their scales. And seriously, you SO don't want to smell their breath. It's as close to the Godzilla movies as I've seen a living creature get.
John C got his left butt cheek chomped by one not long after he got here. It's still got a small dent in it from the acid, and all the gals get depressed just thinking about it. He couldn't sit for a couple of weeks, and it was another week after that before I had to wait for him to get done in the tinfoil shack.
Lava snarks do, however, make a great night-light if you can catch and skin one of the little monsters. The glow lasts for several weeks on their hide.
Maybe someday, a Human with welder's gloves might be able to tame a Snark pup, but for now, we've all got too much on our hands trying to dodge Reptiloids and keep food in our mouths. Some days, it feels like we're all slowly going batshit-crazy in these Peruvian bat caves.
Where's my tinfoil umbrella? I need to get out of here for a little bit.
Brad Wonder out.
Lava snarks are weird, no question. They're kind of like a collie-sized lizard that glows in the dark, an angry, red-orange glow, with black, leathery skin around the edges. Their bite is acidic, so it burns like fire if they bite you. Their body heat is higher than a Human's, too, so they feel hot to the touch.
Lava snarks look for all the world like a lizard made out of glowing red lava when you see them in a dark cave, and their temperament is somewhere at the deep, dark end of snarky. Foul, in other words. Only a Reptiloid could get along with one, because the Snarks can't bite through their scales. And seriously, you SO don't want to smell their breath. It's as close to the Godzilla movies as I've seen a living creature get.
John C got his left butt cheek chomped by one not long after he got here. It's still got a small dent in it from the acid, and all the gals get depressed just thinking about it. He couldn't sit for a couple of weeks, and it was another week after that before I had to wait for him to get done in the tinfoil shack.
Lava snarks do, however, make a great night-light if you can catch and skin one of the little monsters. The glow lasts for several weeks on their hide.
Maybe someday, a Human with welder's gloves might be able to tame a Snark pup, but for now, we've all got too much on our hands trying to dodge Reptiloids and keep food in our mouths. Some days, it feels like we're all slowly going batshit-crazy in these Peruvian bat caves.
Where's my tinfoil umbrella? I need to get out of here for a little bit.
Brad Wonder out.
Wednesday, January 26, 2011
Dawn 2013: Getting back to the Reptiloids...
...I guess I'd better give you a good description of them so that you'll know what your up against when your whole existence becomes a choice between Cave-Or-Tinfoil.
The Reptiloids are kind of tall, usually over six feet, and strong. They have silver scales that look very mirror-like, because the scales are naturally inclusive of a sheet of tin-aluminum alloy over a carbonate substrate and covered with an organic polymer that is hard and clear. This makes the Reptiloids highly resistant to the Death Ray, but it's more a natural evolution of camouflage than anything else. The Death Ray resistance is just their dumb luck. It also makes them very hard to see unless you have a light source that reflects off their scales. Sometimes you can hear them moving too.
Their faces don't have a long snout like a crocodile or T-Rex, they have a snout more like a cat's. Their teeth, however, are gruesome. They have three-times the length of dentition of a Human, and about a dozen more teeth, all sharp and evolved to cut up meat. They do that all too well. There's more than one Human living in the bat caves of Peru that has tooth-scars on their ass from not running quite fast enough. (Despite the now-known benefits, most Humans won't smoke unless the Reptiloids are right on top of them, and by then it's too late. It takes a minute or two for the smoke effects to kick in and mellow the Reptiloids out.)
The Reptiloids have short, vestigial tails, with spikes on the end. They're long enough that the Reptiloid can spike you in a fight, and worse yet, they can swing that tail down between their legs. Can you say "steel cup required for sparring" with these things? You'd better.
The Reptiloids don't wear clothing, it would mess up their camouflage. As far as I can tell, their "equipment" must be retractable, because you can't see anything but scales where most other creatures have danglies. I'm afraid of what it would be to see two of them doing the nasty!
The Reptiloids don't have ears, either. They just have a large scale where the ears would be, that doesn't blend in quite so well with the rest of their scales. The docs think that the Reptiloids hear through sensing the vibration of sound waves with this scale. We're not sure how good their hearing is, but we are sure they hate the Didgeridoo.
I'll have to tell you about the Lava Snarks another time, I'm running out of Tinfoil Time and need to get back in the bat caves.
Brad Wonder out.
The Reptiloids are kind of tall, usually over six feet, and strong. They have silver scales that look very mirror-like, because the scales are naturally inclusive of a sheet of tin-aluminum alloy over a carbonate substrate and covered with an organic polymer that is hard and clear. This makes the Reptiloids highly resistant to the Death Ray, but it's more a natural evolution of camouflage than anything else. The Death Ray resistance is just their dumb luck. It also makes them very hard to see unless you have a light source that reflects off their scales. Sometimes you can hear them moving too.
Their faces don't have a long snout like a crocodile or T-Rex, they have a snout more like a cat's. Their teeth, however, are gruesome. They have three-times the length of dentition of a Human, and about a dozen more teeth, all sharp and evolved to cut up meat. They do that all too well. There's more than one Human living in the bat caves of Peru that has tooth-scars on their ass from not running quite fast enough. (Despite the now-known benefits, most Humans won't smoke unless the Reptiloids are right on top of them, and by then it's too late. It takes a minute or two for the smoke effects to kick in and mellow the Reptiloids out.)
The Reptiloids have short, vestigial tails, with spikes on the end. They're long enough that the Reptiloid can spike you in a fight, and worse yet, they can swing that tail down between their legs. Can you say "steel cup required for sparring" with these things? You'd better.
The Reptiloids don't wear clothing, it would mess up their camouflage. As far as I can tell, their "equipment" must be retractable, because you can't see anything but scales where most other creatures have danglies. I'm afraid of what it would be to see two of them doing the nasty!
The Reptiloids don't have ears, either. They just have a large scale where the ears would be, that doesn't blend in quite so well with the rest of their scales. The docs think that the Reptiloids hear through sensing the vibration of sound waves with this scale. We're not sure how good their hearing is, but we are sure they hate the Didgeridoo.
I'll have to tell you about the Lava Snarks another time, I'm running out of Tinfoil Time and need to get back in the bat caves.
Brad Wonder out.
Dawn 2013: People's Interpretations of the Hopi, Maya, Biblical, and Nostradamian predictions were just a bit off...
...but not that far off.
There WAS a massive earthquake in 2012, but it didn't create tsunami's, it brought down some buildings and shook the Hell out of everyone out West around California. There were some monster flash floods out in Arizona because of all the moisture in the air due to global climate change. The Hopi actually DID wake up one morning and see water out their front doors, and it even lasted a few days. There were a couple more really nasty oil spills. No asteroid strikes, although for that, it's a matter of time. But the "blue star appearing and striking the Earth?" That's the Galactic Death Ray, Tinfoil Slaves. Looking up into the sky, it appears as a brilliant blue light at the peak of night. It's definitely striking the Earth, and it's definitely kicked Humanity in the collective ass. Millions of people tried to guess, but only the Odyssey got it right, and a few others who originated the Death Ray theory.
Great for them, crap for billions. You can't burn enough candles to memorialize them all, so forget it. Save the candles for the King on August 16th, or exploring the bat caves. I can tell you though, come December, people are going to wake up crying. They did that for weeks after, and anniversaries tend to bring it all back in spirit. How do you live a decent life when your whole freaking planet is haunted? I can't imagine what Halloween is going to be like, because if it's the time of thinning between this world and the next, we're vastly out-numbered.
I can tell you one lucky thing that came out of all this, however. There's no bigots left. When there's so few people left, you can't afford to be picky-nasty about who you hang with, or you hang alone and go crazy.
Part of the reason I write this little journal of satirical survival is so that we don't forget and we don't blow our second chance as a species. We have to get to the point where we live self-sufficiently on many places other than this one little rock. After all, Nostradamus only gives until the year 3737 before a big rock hits and blows the Earth to smithereens. Somehow, I doubt tinfoil will save us from that one, but you never know. I'm going to teach my kids, if I have any, to ALWAYS keep a few rolls on hand, and to build space colonies.
So, back to the predictions that missed the mark by inches. Here's a few things that people were saying in the years just before the Death Ray:
Brad Wonder out.
There WAS a massive earthquake in 2012, but it didn't create tsunami's, it brought down some buildings and shook the Hell out of everyone out West around California. There were some monster flash floods out in Arizona because of all the moisture in the air due to global climate change. The Hopi actually DID wake up one morning and see water out their front doors, and it even lasted a few days. There were a couple more really nasty oil spills. No asteroid strikes, although for that, it's a matter of time. But the "blue star appearing and striking the Earth?" That's the Galactic Death Ray, Tinfoil Slaves. Looking up into the sky, it appears as a brilliant blue light at the peak of night. It's definitely striking the Earth, and it's definitely kicked Humanity in the collective ass. Millions of people tried to guess, but only the Odyssey got it right, and a few others who originated the Death Ray theory.
Great for them, crap for billions. You can't burn enough candles to memorialize them all, so forget it. Save the candles for the King on August 16th, or exploring the bat caves. I can tell you though, come December, people are going to wake up crying. They did that for weeks after, and anniversaries tend to bring it all back in spirit. How do you live a decent life when your whole freaking planet is haunted? I can't imagine what Halloween is going to be like, because if it's the time of thinning between this world and the next, we're vastly out-numbered.
I can tell you one lucky thing that came out of all this, however. There's no bigots left. When there's so few people left, you can't afford to be picky-nasty about who you hang with, or you hang alone and go crazy.
Part of the reason I write this little journal of satirical survival is so that we don't forget and we don't blow our second chance as a species. We have to get to the point where we live self-sufficiently on many places other than this one little rock. After all, Nostradamus only gives until the year 3737 before a big rock hits and blows the Earth to smithereens. Somehow, I doubt tinfoil will save us from that one, but you never know. I'm going to teach my kids, if I have any, to ALWAYS keep a few rolls on hand, and to build space colonies.
So, back to the predictions that missed the mark by inches. Here's a few things that people were saying in the years just before the Death Ray:
Brad Wonder out.
Tuesday, January 25, 2011
Dawn 2013: I Heard There's Some Tinfoil Clubbers Holding Out At Uluru...
...otherwise known as Ayer's Rock in central Australia. you can read up about Uluru a bit here: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Uluru .
From what I read, the thing is full of caves and such. My guess would be that the folk staying Down There Under are learning about Dreamtime, because there's not much else they can do. The site is an Aboriginal sacred site, and as it turns out, the Originals from Down Under have been pretty kind to the survivors of the Colonists.
I hope that they have enough food and water. It's tough to get details, however, because the place is so far in the Outback that there's little-to-no connectivity to the surviving 'net.
We have among our ranks a Shaman who is going to do a Journey, something like Astral Projection, in order to speak with the Originals who're guiding that group Down Under. Hopefully we'll hear more soon.
The only other thing we've been able to learn from it is that the Reptiloids hate the constant droning sound of the Didgeridoo, and avoid it because it hurts their ears. We've got a couple of people here trying to fashion some to help protect us. We're also going to try the Shaman's drum next time a Reptiloid or two show up, to see if the droning drumbeat does any good. (Luckily Reptiloids hunt in ones and twos, not in packs. They're not very social. Maybe they can't take all the crazy names?)
Brad Wonder out.
From what I read, the thing is full of caves and such. My guess would be that the folk staying Down There Under are learning about Dreamtime, because there's not much else they can do. The site is an Aboriginal sacred site, and as it turns out, the Originals from Down Under have been pretty kind to the survivors of the Colonists.
I hope that they have enough food and water. It's tough to get details, however, because the place is so far in the Outback that there's little-to-no connectivity to the surviving 'net.
We have among our ranks a Shaman who is going to do a Journey, something like Astral Projection, in order to speak with the Originals who're guiding that group Down Under. Hopefully we'll hear more soon.
The only other thing we've been able to learn from it is that the Reptiloids hate the constant droning sound of the Didgeridoo, and avoid it because it hurts their ears. We've got a couple of people here trying to fashion some to help protect us. We're also going to try the Shaman's drum next time a Reptiloid or two show up, to see if the droning drumbeat does any good. (Luckily Reptiloids hunt in ones and twos, not in packs. They're not very social. Maybe they can't take all the crazy names?)
Brad Wonder out.
Sunday, January 23, 2011
Dawn 2013: I Guess I haven't Told You Readers My Name Yet...
...it's Wonder. Brad Wonder.
Yeah, exactly. My parents had a great sense of humor. You should have heard some of the stuff I got in school as a kid. "Hey, Wonder Brad, missing your peanut butter and jelly?" "It's a Wonder-ful life, isn't it, BRAD?" "It's a Wonder you were ever born, Brad!" After the first couple of years, I almost got into a state of Wonder at the sheer creativity of some of it. Yeah, riiiiight. Uh huh. Suuuure.
Actually, it IS a wonder I can write in this journal given what happened. I've been trying to sleuth-out how there can be a functioning internet a month after the beginning of the Apocalypse. More on that in a minute.
Sleuthing is something that comes naturally to me. I was a Private Detective before the Death Ray started beaming into the life of the planet. I actually made a few nice peanuts here and there doing it, too. However, if you make fun of my name, I can go all Private Dick on you real quick-like. I kind of have that in common with the big toothy Lizardites like poor ol' Squiggy. I'll go all Reptiloid on your ass if you can't bite your own tongue, get me?
One of the best things I ever sleuthed out was the gal who calls me Mr. Wonder-ful. That's right, I got her under the tinfoil in time and brought her to the bat caves with me. (She's not too thrilled with our temporary home, but it beats the frying pan. Who among us other than Squiggy and company is?) My Sweet's name is Claudette Clerestine. She is a beautiful blonde bombshell, with an excellent brain and an even better heart. She's the real reason I want to beat Johnny C. to the Tinfoil Shack most days. She was a nurse and a Tarot card reader before the Death Ray. They don't come any smarter or sweeter in my book, than my Claudi-gal.
Now, back to how I can be writing in this journal. I think it is the US Federal Government. I think they have a backup of most of the internet with them deep in Cheyenne Mountain and most of the other buried bunkers they snuck in all over the planet. I also think they have guys who fly around in helicopters and tinfoil suits that keep cellular networks going so they can keep tabs on the Tinfoil Corps like us all over the baked-Earth.
Lucky for us we managed to keep a few solar-cell-based phone chargers with us. They work even better in the Death Ray, they put out more juice on cloudy days and such. We've been kind of amazed that we've been able to call each other and surf the web when we're out of the Guano Caverns. We've even been able to Tweet at some of the other members of the Tinfoil Club from caves around the planet, which is heartening for four years from now. I'll have to tell you about some of them later.
So, if you think the Death Ray has freed you from the Scourge of the Paper-People Pushers, think again. Corporatism will probably be right back to endanger the planet as soon as we fly out of the Left Ray. They have finally proven that Paper Tigers are far worse than the real thing, I bet. Look at the shape real tigers were in before the Death Ray came. They were on the verge of extinction. I have to wonder how many endangered species will have survived Apocalypsia when all is said and done. I guess that's something I'll have to sleuth out after we're free of the tinfoil.
Brad Wonder out.
Yeah, exactly. My parents had a great sense of humor. You should have heard some of the stuff I got in school as a kid. "Hey, Wonder Brad, missing your peanut butter and jelly?" "It's a Wonder-ful life, isn't it, BRAD?" "It's a Wonder you were ever born, Brad!" After the first couple of years, I almost got into a state of Wonder at the sheer creativity of some of it. Yeah, riiiiight. Uh huh. Suuuure.
Actually, it IS a wonder I can write in this journal given what happened. I've been trying to sleuth-out how there can be a functioning internet a month after the beginning of the Apocalypse. More on that in a minute.
Sleuthing is something that comes naturally to me. I was a Private Detective before the Death Ray started beaming into the life of the planet. I actually made a few nice peanuts here and there doing it, too. However, if you make fun of my name, I can go all Private Dick on you real quick-like. I kind of have that in common with the big toothy Lizardites like poor ol' Squiggy. I'll go all Reptiloid on your ass if you can't bite your own tongue, get me?
One of the best things I ever sleuthed out was the gal who calls me Mr. Wonder-ful. That's right, I got her under the tinfoil in time and brought her to the bat caves with me. (She's not too thrilled with our temporary home, but it beats the frying pan. Who among us other than Squiggy and company is?) My Sweet's name is Claudette Clerestine. She is a beautiful blonde bombshell, with an excellent brain and an even better heart. She's the real reason I want to beat Johnny C. to the Tinfoil Shack most days. She was a nurse and a Tarot card reader before the Death Ray. They don't come any smarter or sweeter in my book, than my Claudi-gal.
Now, back to how I can be writing in this journal. I think it is the US Federal Government. I think they have a backup of most of the internet with them deep in Cheyenne Mountain and most of the other buried bunkers they snuck in all over the planet. I also think they have guys who fly around in helicopters and tinfoil suits that keep cellular networks going so they can keep tabs on the Tinfoil Corps like us all over the baked-Earth.
Lucky for us we managed to keep a few solar-cell-based phone chargers with us. They work even better in the Death Ray, they put out more juice on cloudy days and such. We've been kind of amazed that we've been able to call each other and surf the web when we're out of the Guano Caverns. We've even been able to Tweet at some of the other members of the Tinfoil Club from caves around the planet, which is heartening for four years from now. I'll have to tell you about some of them later.
So, if you think the Death Ray has freed you from the Scourge of the Paper-People Pushers, think again. Corporatism will probably be right back to endanger the planet as soon as we fly out of the Left Ray. They have finally proven that Paper Tigers are far worse than the real thing, I bet. Look at the shape real tigers were in before the Death Ray came. They were on the verge of extinction. I have to wonder how many endangered species will have survived Apocalypsia when all is said and done. I guess that's something I'll have to sleuth out after we're free of the tinfoil.
Brad Wonder out.
Saturday, January 22, 2011
AM Radio, Art Bell, Red Elk, And The Reptiloids...
This is the story of how I learned of the existence of the Reptiloids from under the Earth.
Years and years ago when I was a young man, I found myself on several occasions driving across country for work, moving to whatever city would keep me employed. Fairly often, I was unable to afford a hotel room in those days, so I would have to drive straight through the night.
I would keep myself awake by listening to AM radio, because I could hold the stations longer than FM. On a few occasions, I caught the Art Bell show, ( http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Art_Bell ) which featured the strange and unusual and mysterious. It was always my belief that a fascinated mind was a more alert mind.
One night on Art's show in the 1980's, there was a guest on called Red Elk. He was describing a race that lived underground in the Earth, called the Reptilians. They could occasionally come to the surface, disguise themselves as humans, and would eat people. Red Elk described them as evil, and given my experiences in the Peruvian Bat caves with Squiggy and Crew, he's not far off the mark. No smoke, and the Reptiloids are big, strong, nasty-tempered, and hungry.
Of course, Red Elk talked about many other things from Earth's distant past and Earth's near future, but I'm not going into that here. The point is, I've been aware of the existence of the Reptiloids for many years, and I've always kept my eyes open for them when anywhere there could be an exit from below the surface of the Earth.
Park that under your tinfoil umbrella and irradiate it for a few minutes. Then think about the Human race being driven almost entirely underground. It brings a whole new meaning to "getting your ass chewed," doesn't it?
Years and years ago when I was a young man, I found myself on several occasions driving across country for work, moving to whatever city would keep me employed. Fairly often, I was unable to afford a hotel room in those days, so I would have to drive straight through the night.
I would keep myself awake by listening to AM radio, because I could hold the stations longer than FM. On a few occasions, I caught the Art Bell show, ( http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Art_Bell ) which featured the strange and unusual and mysterious. It was always my belief that a fascinated mind was a more alert mind.
One night on Art's show in the 1980's, there was a guest on called Red Elk. He was describing a race that lived underground in the Earth, called the Reptilians. They could occasionally come to the surface, disguise themselves as humans, and would eat people. Red Elk described them as evil, and given my experiences in the Peruvian Bat caves with Squiggy and Crew, he's not far off the mark. No smoke, and the Reptiloids are big, strong, nasty-tempered, and hungry.
Of course, Red Elk talked about many other things from Earth's distant past and Earth's near future, but I'm not going into that here. The point is, I've been aware of the existence of the Reptiloids for many years, and I've always kept my eyes open for them when anywhere there could be an exit from below the surface of the Earth.
Park that under your tinfoil umbrella and irradiate it for a few minutes. Then think about the Human race being driven almost entirely underground. It brings a whole new meaning to "getting your ass chewed," doesn't it?
So, What Exactly IS The Galactic Death Ray, You Ask?
Many of these galaxy-center black holes appear to be quiescent, or having no radiation jets, however. The jets, which astronomers have only seen shooting up and down from the galaxies' axis of spin, seem to "come and go" over massively long periods of time.
This is where our galaxy, the Milky Way, appears to be unique. Lucky us. Instead of rotating in the same direction as all the rest of the mass in our galaxy, in sync with the galactic disk, our monster black hole happens to be like the planet Uranus. It's axis of spin is tilted 90 degrees from the Milky way's galactic plane. This is why astronomers have thought our black hole was quiescent at this time. Instead of shooting its jets to galactic North and South, they are shooting out to galactic Left and Right, where the astronomers can't see them! (Since we're speaking in terms of three dimensions rather than two as with a paper map, galaxies have North, South, East, West, Right, and Left. North and South are like "up" and "down.")
Just our luck, on December 21st of 2012, The movement of the Solar System around the galactic plane brought us into the West edge of the Left jet of our galaxy's black hole! It will take a full four years for the Solar System to pass all the way through the jet and come out the East side.
Since the jet is composed of massive quantities of tightly-focused radiation and charged particles, it's like the entire Solar System is flying through a giant galactic all-frequency laser beam. Anything un-protected on the surface of the Earth or the top 300 meters (approximately 900 feet) of the ocean gets fried in a ferocious bath of all types of radiation! Galactic Death Ray!!
By some lucky coincidence, there are very deep caves in Peru and near Carlsbad, New Mexico that can hold lots and lots of people. You have to be at least 100 feet underground to escape the full effects of the Death Ray. You get only a partial break at 50 feet under.
By another lucky coincidence, TINFOIL, God's greatest gift to anything, interacts with the Earth's natural magnetic field to create a shield that pushes the radiation away from its surface, blocking 99.99% of the Death Ray. You can't just hang out forever under a tinfoil umbrella, because that last 0.01% would get you in a few days. You CAN, however, get outside for a few hours. (Can you say TINFOIL SHACK ten times really fast??)
The bad news is plants don't get along with the Death Ray, either. That means you have to use hydroponic chambers in the caves to grow much of anything. Only a few shade-tolerant crops will grow (poorly) under tinfoil hoop-houses.
It promises to be a truly NASTY four years...
Friday, January 21, 2011
This Was The Film That Predicted It All...
2012, The Odysey Featuring Sharron Rose is where I learned about the Maya-Free Masons-Hopi-Templar connection from this film. The only thing it didn't give me was warning about the Reptiloids, but I'll tell you how I knew later...
And so your journey into Apocalypsia begins - don't forget your cigars!
And so your journey into Apocalypsia begins - don't forget your cigars!
You Should See The Weird Stuff That Happens...
...when you expose all kinds of crystals to the Galactic Death Ray. It becomes a Galactic LIFE Ray! I'm not kidding! I've seen fruit flies, bats, frogs, lizards, bees, and all kinds of other creatures come crawling out from under arrays of crystals left sitting by the beach. We figured out this trick after we found this Youtube video:
The Reptiloids love it, because it gives them more things to hunt. The lucky Lizardoids have natural tinfoil in their scales! They can go out in the Death Ray without getting cooked! It is SO unfair! 350 lb silver-scaled Reptiloids that will eat a Human who isn't smoking, all with freaky names and bad breath and Lava Snarks for pets. Hold onto your tinfoil umbrellas and RUN, Joe 2013!
The Reptiloids love it, because it gives them more things to hunt. The lucky Lizardoids have natural tinfoil in their scales! They can go out in the Death Ray without getting cooked! It is SO unfair! 350 lb silver-scaled Reptiloids that will eat a Human who isn't smoking, all with freaky names and bad breath and Lava Snarks for pets. Hold onto your tinfoil umbrellas and RUN, Joe 2013!
There Are Rumors That A Few Russian 2012 Arks Have Survived...
...and I thought I saw one bobbing like a cork on the Peruvian coast on my last tinfoil outing.
Here's a link to the story pre-2012 about the arks and their designer: http://io9.com/5735705/moscow-man-builds-2012-survival-pod-for-80000-on-abandoned-chicken-farm
Here's an old Youtube video of his ark. They were calling him a "tinfoil genius" back then, and no wonder; he had planned to line these arks with tinfoil! See for yourself:
I hope that really was a Russian ark I saw bobbing on the waves. We might actually wind up with some fresh faces in the bat caves!
And just for your information, John Cusak DID manage to fly down here, saving three other people in a twin-engine Mooney. Now if I could just get him to stop hogging the tinfoil shack...
Here's a link to the story pre-2012 about the arks and their designer: http://io9.com/5735705/moscow-man-builds-2012-survival-pod-for-80000-on-abandoned-chicken-farm
Here's an old Youtube video of his ark. They were calling him a "tinfoil genius" back then, and no wonder; he had planned to line these arks with tinfoil! See for yourself:
I hope that really was a Russian ark I saw bobbing on the waves. We might actually wind up with some fresh faces in the bat caves!
And just for your information, John Cusak DID manage to fly down here, saving three other people in a twin-engine Mooney. Now if I could just get him to stop hogging the tinfoil shack...
Wednesday, January 19, 2011
Even Cockroaches Fear The Galactic Death Ray...
That's why they hide under things. No one has seen La Cucaracha since December, 2012. They're hiding REAL good. They can't work with tin foil, you know.
Some of the scientists think there's life left in the deepest ocean, but we haven't found enough tin foil to wrap up a submarine and go check it out. I guess we'll have to wait four years until the solar system passes out of the death ray to find out.
Funny thing about the Reptiloids. They get real mellow if they're exposed to smoke. They're like giant scaly bees that way. I think cigarette smoke gets them wasted, but it gives them anti-munchies.
I found out about it one day when I was sneaking a cigar. I about crapped my britches when a big Reptiloid sat next to me and told me his name was Squiggy. Then he asked me where I got those "super'volcanic tobacco sticks, Monkey-Dude." No wonder it got stuck in peace pipes and called sacred. No wonder Reptiloids are nasty with names like that!
Thank the Volcano Gods for La Gloria Cubana's! I'd have been snark-chow without them!
Some of the scientists think there's life left in the deepest ocean, but we haven't found enough tin foil to wrap up a submarine and go check it out. I guess we'll have to wait four years until the solar system passes out of the death ray to find out.
Funny thing about the Reptiloids. They get real mellow if they're exposed to smoke. They're like giant scaly bees that way. I think cigarette smoke gets them wasted, but it gives them anti-munchies.
I found out about it one day when I was sneaking a cigar. I about crapped my britches when a big Reptiloid sat next to me and told me his name was Squiggy. Then he asked me where I got those "super'volcanic tobacco sticks, Monkey-Dude." No wonder it got stuck in peace pipes and called sacred. No wonder Reptiloids are nasty with names like that!
Thank the Volcano Gods for La Gloria Cubana's! I'd have been snark-chow without them!
Wednesday, January 12, 2011
Monday, January 10, 2011
Forget 2012, I'm Going To Plan For 2013...
...and I'm stocking up on aluminum foil NOW. After all, the only way you'll ever shack up when there's a galactic death ray irradiating the entire Earth is if you have a foil shack. Then you can get hot without getting cooked. I mean, come on! No self-respecting apocalypse-survivor chick is going to do it in a dark, dank Peruvian bat cave where predatory Reptiloids prowl with their pet lava-Snarks.
Sunday, January 9, 2011
Never Go Outside...
...without your aluminum-foil umbrella and trench coat. The galactic death ray will shrivel you into a tiny, over-roasted weiner without them.
Wear dark shades, too. If your eyes glow too much when you sneak back into the caves of Peru, the Reptiloids will catch you and feed you to the lava Snarks. They eat your ears first.
Wear dark shades, too. If your eyes glow too much when you sneak back into the caves of Peru, the Reptiloids will catch you and feed you to the lava Snarks. They eat your ears first.
The Day After 2012...
...now that the cosmic death ray is pouring from the center of the galaxy, I think I'll run out of the Peruvian bat caves and escape the ravaging Reptiloids from the Hollow Earth and get myself a death-ray tan.
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